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Leaving An Abusive
Relationship
Living with a violent partner is dangerous, but leaving one can be
dangerous too. Many victims of abuse end up returning to the abusers
who hurt them. Often this is because they are forced to leave home
suddenly, their lives in danger. With no chance to prepare and no
safety net in place, they are likely to return to their batterers.
If you are a victim of domestic violence who is trying to leave an
abusive relationship, you will have a better chance of succeeding if
you have a safety plan. A safety plan helps you think beyond just
escaping - it helps you to prepare for your future. It includes the
steps to take before you leave, as well as after.
Here are a few suggestions to help you form your safety plan. If you
would like a personalized plan, please contact your local shelter.
Or, if your shelter does not serve the LGBT community or is not LGBT
friendly, contact us and one of our staff members can assist you.
Important things to bring when leaving:
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Driver's license or
other identification.
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Social Security Card
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Domestic Partnership,
Civil Union, or other important documents pertaining to the status
of your relationship.
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Deeds
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Copy of bills with
account numbers
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Credit cards
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Checks and bank books
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Insurance cards
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Title and registration
for your car |
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Keys
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Money
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Any important papers
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Sentimental items such
as photos |
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Clothing
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Children's social
security cards, school records, immunization records
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Birth Certificates
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Medications
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How to keep yourself
safe:
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Keep extra money,
important documents, car keys, and clothing at a friend's or
family member's home or put in a safety deposit box.
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Tell a friend about
the abuse and your plans to leave. |
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Develop a code word
that tells your friends and family that you are in danger.
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Plan escape routes out
of your home with several alternatives, if possible.
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